your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
