hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
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You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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