i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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