you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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