i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
