11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
