wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
bring money and cleavage
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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