Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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