fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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