Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
