Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
