shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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