I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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