i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
