His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
