so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
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she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
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You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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