i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
