I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
