Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
