i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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