Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
