Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
