I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
