so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
