i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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