it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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