I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
