i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize