I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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