You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
