so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
