____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
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It's never too late to be topless.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
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By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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