I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he puts the penis in happiness.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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