She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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