I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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