Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
