honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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