How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
