If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
