So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize