Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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