How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
