Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
