Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
