idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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