i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
