Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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