Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
