yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
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