sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
