she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
