Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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