i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I looked at my own cervix.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
