I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
