My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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