If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
