I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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